Its been 3 longs months that I haven’t painted! The house move killed my mojo I think and although it was always at the back of my mind that I should get back to it, it wasn’t till I started feeling a little depressed this week, that I knew I had to get out my paints and brushes. Even though I just started painting, it has become my zen place, even when I don’t paint. Its the place I go to in my head when I’m upset or stressed and it instantly calms me down.
But this week, when I was suddenly hit with a bad case of the blues, (I cried while watching an especially emotional episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race…yes thats how bad it got! LoL!), I knew I had to sit down and paint again. A close friend told me its because I’m detoxing… I have too much energy, I get bored and then depressed. Even going to the gym 4 times a week didn’t help. It was like a drug. I would get high on the exercise, but after the euphoria was gone, I was still left with the blues…and painful butt and thighs!
So after a morning of moping around feeling depressed, I said “Enough”! I got up and did the housework, which depressed me even further, but at least the house was clean and I didn’t have to deal with the extra guilt of not cleaning! I wasn’t try to avoid feeling the blues, I just let it wash over me. It helps that I know it won’t last. And every bout of depression (about once every 5 years now…) is like a wake up call for me, telling me I have to change something. When I was in my early twenties, I think I was bi-polar as I would be high one week and so low the next. During that period, I changed my haircut every month as I couldn’t change anything else! Since then I’ve changed friends, countries, jobs & life situation afew times, my perspective to life… and now I’m not sure what I should change. Everything is as perfect as it can be…or so it seems…
In the meantime, I started painting again and it has helped calm me down. I’m still following Jenna Rainey’s “Everyday Watercolor” book. Its a “Learn to paint in 30 days” type of book…its been 6 months since I started! The day I finish the book will be one of celebration! The next lesson is to paint a fruit and I can’t wait to get started as I want to be a food painter I think, since I’m such a foodie! Especially since I just discovered Charlie O’Shield’s blog Doodlewash. I love his paintings and the way he writes. His last post about diets, or rather not dieting, and trying to find a balance between doing what we love and life’s obligations, was especially relevant to me at the moment.
Well thanks for sticking till the end of an unusually emotional post. Its helped to write it down, although I haven’t had the “aha” moment while writing, but I’m sure it’ll come… or not, I’m not really stressing about it.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend!